Gloomy Day For a Funeral

This morning was the funeral Mass for my co-worker's 2-month old son. It is a cool, overcast day, the rain from the past three days is suppose to end today and the sun is to come out. It is still gloomy and that reflected the mood of everyone there.

What do you say?

I hugged my co-worker when I entered the church and he introduced me to his wife and I hugged her. I said I was so sorry. He asked if I had ever seen his son. No, I hadn't. Just the sonogram photos he walked around to show everyone when they found out they were pregnant. I must have missed the days he brought in other pictures. Or maybe he hadn't brought them in yet. He was planning on bringing his son in for everyone to see when his wife returned from visiting her family.

That is where their son died. It was a heart complication that hadn't manifested it self until that time. My co-worker wasn't there, he was here. He got the call that I am sure was quite frantic from his wife telling him their son had died. We heard about it Monday, those that were in the office at 8 a.m. at an impromptu team meeting, the rest of us from those who were at the meeting. What do you say?

Such a gloomy week.

My co-worker has always been such a happy guy. He walks through the halls with a smile just stopping by people's desks to say, "Hi". Today, it was hard to see him pale, without the smile, aged.

It was heart breaking watching him along with three friends carry the tiny white coffin to the front of the church. During the service, he supported his wife who clung to him, head on his shoulder, her mother next to her rubbing her back in comfort. It was also difficult to see the sadness on my co-worker's faces. These are people you see strong, commanding, laughing, joking, angry, tough - - not silent, voices, barely audible, shaking during the prayers.

After the mass and we all followed the family out of the church, my co-worker and his wife stood behind the hearse as the doors were shut behind they tiny white coffin that held their son. She broke down and cried in the arms of a woman, a family member or friend, I don't know. They were heart wrenching, inconsolable, depth of your your soul sobs. As we passed by, I wanted to hug her, to hug my co-worker. How hard this must be for him to not be able to make it better, to be feeling the same anguish. How hard this must be for their parents, again, they want to make it better but they can't. I sat in my car and thought about calling my mom, to ask her to make it better.

During the homily, the priest said it is difficult when God chooses to take the life of someone who we love, who is just in the beginning of life. We want to know why. He said, he doesn't know why but knows there will be a time, when we, as believers, will be in heaven too and will no longer have any questions.

There have been several people I know who have lost children over the past 6 years to accident, illness, complications inutero. It is always so difficult.

What brings me comfort are passages from the Gospel of John, where Jesus is preparing his disciples for his impending death.

John 14: 1-3

1"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

This comforts me because I know that Jesus never lied, and what He says is true. I believe when my place in heaven is prepared for me, that is when He will call me home. It is just so sad when He decides to call some home so soon. I also have comfort in knowing that heaven is a wonderful place and just the thought of the feeling of absolute love from God is breathtaking.

I also have great comfort in knowing that He has risen. Jesus conquered death. My co-worker's son is being cuddled in the arms of God and he and his wife will one day see him again.